2nd Place & Self Doubt

So Sunday was an exciting and disturbing day for me.

It was the day of my second tri of the year. My sister and I had decided to

do the Super Sprint race in Kettle Moraine. Her foot had just healed from a

stress fracture and we thought this would be a good one to start with.

The weather was beautiful - couldn't ask for better race weather. Sunny, no humidity,

almost a little on the cool side to start the day. The lake water was warm.

So we line up for our wave to be announced... nervous but ready to go!

The horn blows and we were off - the swim was only 1/8 of a mile so we thought we

could do it in about 6 mins or under. Yep we did - 5:15!

Then we lost track of eachother in the crowds until we passed eachother on the bike corse.

Only a 6 mile bike so we were hoping for about 20 mins. Yep 18!!

Then came the run... no this is where the disturbing part of the day came into play.

I had been working on my run the most - feeling really good about how much progress I've

made in a short couple of months. From a 15min. mile down to under 12!

So I was really hoping for a nice quick finish on this short 1.5 mile run.

The offroad run portion was hindered due to the mass amount of rain a couple days prior to

the race. The race officials did the best they could by laying down hay and plywood... but it was

still real squishy out there. Unperdictable footing for an unexperienced runner.

First off - I got off my bike and made my way through transition onto the run. My heart was

racing... and not in a good way. It took me a good 1/2 mile to clam down enough to be able to

get into a groove. Then I hit the squishy off road portion of the run and started really struggling.

Natural runners were just flying past me like it was no big deal... but I was having a really hard

time. This is when I really started to mentally break down. "why am I doing this", "do I really like doing this?" "if I'm having a hard time with this little 1.5mi run, how the hell do I think I'm gonna get to the half ironman or the ironman?"

For some reason I really let this get to my head - I ended up finishing in 20mins. Longer than

I had wanted but I was happy to be done.

We looked at the results... and what do you know... 2nd Place. Yeah sure it was the Athena group in the Super Sprint... but I'll take it!!

That night and into the next day - I couldn't shake that self doubt. Can I really do this? Do I really want to do this?? How am I going to get there - I've got so far to go!

After a long talk with my wonderful husband - he insured me that it's in me to do it if I wanted to. It's within reach - it's just going to take some hard work.

Do I believe in myself? I don't know... I say I want it... but do I really?

In the end - a lot of thought and a good nights sleep... YES! Today I'm renewed again and ready to start again. I'm going to do it. I just need to find a new focus... maybe someone to help guide

me though this and get me to where I need to be.

This must be one of those road blocks people talk about right?

In any case, I'm ready to get back on track. :)

GORGEOUS!!!

That was the "word" for wave 11 today.

4:30am - Wake up and get ready for my first race of the year!

5am - awesome hubby and daughter drop me off at the shuttle stop.

5:30am - got my tri things all laid out and filled my tires.

6am - started to get REALLY nervous! Feeling like maybe I shouldn't do it, but

still really excited to try it out.

This race was different for me - the swim was twice the distance. 1/2 mile!

I had practiced, but a 1/2 mile looks a lot different in a pool than in a lake.

It freaked me out!

6:30am - started walking to the start line... and really started to doubt myself.

7am the first wave jumped in a they were on their way.

The excitement was high - 2,000 women in one area. 90% of them newbies!

All different sizes and shapes. I watched Sally Edwards (pro athlete) high-5 everyone

before their wave and started to get excited to get my shot to swim.

7:36 was my start time... 100 women in my wave - all royal blue caps and bundles of nerves to boot.

Sally got us all lined up in the water - and gave us a great pep talk! "Gorgeous is what you are!

You are all hear willing to make your lives better and stronger! You are Gorgeous!"

The countdown began - 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.... I waited for the faster swimmers to go... and then jumped

in and went full steam ahead. It was warm water and pretty clear. The wind was on our side!

My normal time in the pool has been 24ish mins. My time today was 19!!! I can't believe it!!!

The bike was the leg I was most worried about - turned out to be a GREAT ride! I loved it!

Felt like I was flying - nice long stretches with pretty views on each side. For the first time, I was actually passing people. Of corse, I was being passed too... but wow - I wasn't in the back of the pack for once!

Once I got back in from the bike - I started off on the run. Right off the bat I felt out of sync, but kept going. Tried to calm my breathing down - but it wasn't happening. It was so HOT! No shade on the whole race. I made it a mile before I had to stop and walk. I was disappointed in myself since I had be working the hardest on running while training - but I literally hit a wall and ran out of gas. It was the worst feeling. I wanted to go faster but couldn't. One foot in front of the other... run, walk, run, walk... finally the last 1/2 mile I got some strength back to pick up some speed and finish.

I had guesstimated I'd finish around 2:10-2:15... but today was my day! 1:57!! Couldn't believe it.

I hadn't finished under 2 hours in a loooooonnnnngggg time!

Long way to go for my future goals... but I'm back on track. Yippy!!!

It was a gorgeous day - super happy with my finish.

STREP!

It's been a rough week - Strep Throat and a cold.

My lungs are finally starting to bounce back after a week of bad sleep and endless coughing.

Went for a short run today and am feeling much better. Very worried about my strength

for this upcoming race though. Very excited at the same time.